March 5th Lenten Reflection

Matthew 18:21–35

Peter came and said to Jesus, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.

"For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, `Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, `Pay what you owe.' Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, `Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, `You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Forgiveness

By The Rev. Brian K. Gross

Peter, like most of us, has questions about forgiveness. He asks Jesus if seven is the number of times a person should be forgiven. It would seem that for Peter the eighth time is just one step too far and the point at which forgiveness is out of the question. Peter has probably chosen the number seven because that is an important number in his culture that signified completeness or wholeness. Jesus counters with saying that forgiveness must be seventy-seven times. Jesus is not saying that number seventy-eight is one past the line and past forgiveness. He is actually saying that forgiveness has no limit. This can be hard to fathom for us as we probably very quickly think of things that people should not be forgiven of even one time. If this is our thinking, then we are thinking of forgiveness incorrectly. The act of forgiveness is not condoning or accepting what another person is being forgiven for. It isn’t saying that you did this bad thing and Jesus tells me I am supposed to say that it is alright that you did it. Rather, forgiveness is the act of letting something go. It is for the benefit of the person who does the forgiving rather than for the forgiven. Confusing? It can be. Let’s say that someone does something against you and you cannot forgive them. You have made a choice to hold on to that wrong and the feelings that come with it. These feelings may include anger, disgust, betrayal, or others. If you hold on to these feelings, perhaps out of a sense of punishment for the other person, they can weigh you down or consume you while at the same time having no effect on the other person. To forgive the wrong that was done means to let it cease to have power over you any longer. Cease to weigh you down or consume you. It frees you to move on with your life. Not letting go only punishes yourself, not the other person.

I am drawn to this poem by Ralph David called “The Grace of Forgiveness.”

Forgiveness, some say, is a sign,

Of decrepitude, a weakening line.

Yet strength lies within,

To let go and begin,

A path where grace and resilience entwine.

It points out that to forgive someone isn’t a sign of weakness but grace. Grace for yourself, and yes maybe even for the other person. A time to let go and move forward.