Reflection This Week
CIVILITY
It’s almost
December. The Iowa Caucuses are about six weeks away, thank God. We
have been inundated by all those who want to be our next president.
We will be even more so in the weeks to come. Perhaps because this
is Iowa and perhaps because civility is an expected virtue not just
from political candidates but from every citizen as well, the
campaigns have been, so far, quite civil. I trust they will remain
so.
I do not trust,
however, that they will once the two final candidates are chosen.
That is when the gloves will come off and Iowans of whatever
political persuasion will wonder about whatever happened to
civility. Christians – and all citizens – should wonder as well.
That is not to say that we, in this State, never encounter uncivil
people. I was almost run off the road by one the other day even as I
had the right of way. She emphatically told me that she was Number
One, albeit with the wrong finger – and twice!
Two not-so-recent
books challenge any notion that we, as a society, are naturally
civil. P. M. Forni, who is the cofounder of the Johns Hopkins
Civility Project, titles his book Choosing Civility and
subtitles it “The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct.”
Obviously Dr. Forni believes that civility does not come naturally
to homo sapiens but, rather we have to deliberately choose to
calm our natural instincts to dominate in order to become civil.
Stephen L.
Carter, Professor of Law at Yale, titles his book Simplicity.
His subtitle is “Manners, Morals and the Etiquette of Democracy.”
Carter believes that civility is essential if a democratic form of
government is to work or at least work for the benefit of all
citizens and not just for those who have the power to make sure
their needs – wants, really – are met at the expense of those who
have no power.
Some of Forni’s
rules are these: pay attention; acknowledge others; think the best;
listen; be inclusive, speak kindly; don’t speak ill; accept and give
praise; be agreeable; care for your guests; be a considerate guest;
give constructive criticism; respect the environment and be gentle
to animals. Sound advice. Christian conduct, to say the least. Who
could argue with him, even civilly?
Carter goes
further and deeper. “Our duty to be civil toward others does not
depend on whether we like them or not.” “Civility requires that we
sacrifice for strangers, not just for people who we happen to know.”
“Civility has two parts: generosity, even when it is costly, and
trust, even when there is risk.” “Civility creates not merely a
negative duty not to do harm, but an affirmative duty to do good.”
“Civility assumes that we will disagree; it requires us not to mask
our differences but to resolve them respectfully.” That’s only for
starters. Carter, by the way, is an Episcopalian.
Forni’s Rules, it
seems to me, are Civility 101. Carter’s are for those majoring in
the subject – which should be all of us. The truth is nothing either
one of these professors writes should come as a surprise to anyone
of us who claims to follow Jesus. It might, however, surprise some
of our candidates.
It is not easy
to be civil especially when it comes to those who are uncivil with
us. Instead of responding in kindness, we are often tempted to
respond in kind. I missed a great opportunity to be civil to the
woman driver who was waving her finger at me. I simply shrugged my
shoulders, got out of her way and wondered why she was so angry. I
should have raised my hand and given her a blessing. WJP
