Reflection This Week
Half Way

A wag once observed that someone who says that s/he will meet you half way is invariably a terrible judge of distance. Aren’t we all? Aren’t we all, especially when we are the ones who are asking another to compromise on some issue?

   There are times when we find ourselves in a situation where neither of us wants to give up or give in, where we realize that compromise is the only way to move forward.  In such circumstances we tend to want to shorten the distance we have to go in the hope that the other will make more of a sacrifice than we are willing to make at that moment in time. We hope, we even believe, that if we play are cards correctly and if we are convincing enough, we may even get our way.

   It often seems that so many people, ourselves included, spend quite a bit of time and energy attempting to get our way or having others see it our way. Thinking and acting in that manner means that we are putting ourselves first above everyone and everything else. We are not about compromise. Then when we are forced to do so, we often give in kicking and screaming, albeit only to ourselves. Or if we do voice our concerns, we make sure the other knows how much we have had to sacrifice in order to make him happy.

   Yet, on those occasions when we actually do meet the other half way, each compromising equally, we have no reason to be proud because of our sacrifice. When two people meet half way, both have sacrificed evenly. Neither may want to compromise in the first place because both want either more than the other or the whole shebang. In that situation each considers the other the true winner and him/herself the real loser. S/he only got half of what s/he wanted in the first place.

   None of this is to demean the importance of compromise. In fact, meeting another half way is often the only way anything gets done or at least gets done peacefully. We go to war or we go to court because we cannot get the other party to budge or at least budge enough to reach an amicable resolution to the problem at hand, whatever that problem may be. Being willing to compromise is an indication that we are more concerned with peace than getting our way.

   However, as Christians that is not to be our mindset. We are to put the other person first: his needs, her concerns. Our needs and concerns are to take second place. Easier said than done, as we all know, human nature being what it is, the survival of the fittest and all that. Just as compromise often comes begrudgingly, putting the other first also comes with much internal struggle almost all of the time.

   This is true even in the most loving of relationships. Jesus in the Garden struggled to put his love of God ahead of his love of himself. He did not want to suffer in the manner he knew he was about to suffer. Who would? In fact, were he able, I suspect Jesus would have looked for a way to get God to compromise, to meet him half way. Who wouldn’t? Yet he also knew that for him compromise was out of the question.

   None of this is to belittle the art of compromise in trying to live in peace with one another in this sinful and broken world in which we all must live. It is simply a reminder that as Christians we are always to look beyond. We are to ask ourselves what more we can do for the other or give of ourselves rather than how much we can get away with or how little we have to give up or give in and still think we have fulfilled our obligations.

   As with Jesus, so with us: God will always give us whatever grace and strength we need to give fully of ourselves.   WJP