Reflection This Week
RESTLESSNESS

   There is a certain restlessness in being human, I think. It comes with being alive, with being able to remember, being able to understand, being able to think and reason. No one is immune and no one ever conquers it. As St. Augustine opined centuries ago, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you, O Lord.” That does not happen until we are dead and buried. On the other hand, I’m not sure animals are restless.

   Albert always seemed to be content with the present. There were no worries for him about the past, especially past indiscretions. He assumed they were forgiven and because they were forgiven, they were also forgotten. He did not worry about from where his next meal would come. For Albert only the present mattered and he was quite content with the present knowing that we loved him unconditionally and he loved us in the same way in return. What was there to be restless about?

   “Well, Albert, My Buddy,” I would say to him were he still with me, “let me tell you what. First, there is the past. We humans all have skeletons in our closets, skeletons we want to keep there with the door locked shut and forever. We live in quiet fear that the door may some day be opened and we will have to account for those sins and indiscretions we are hiding inside. That knowledge keeps us on edge. We haven’t forgiven ourselves for those actions and we fear that others will not either should they some day come to light.

   “We also live in a spirit of restlessness in the here and now. We want to say and do always that which is kind and loving, fitting and proper, but we do not know if we are. We are never certain how others will interpret our words and actions. Because of that we tend to tread lightly, speak softly, even remain silent. Even when we feel certain that we have said or done the right thing, we remain slightly on edge, restless, waiting for a shoe of some kind to drop.

   “Finally, Albert, who is there who is not restless about the future? Given the state of our world one would have to be anesthetized to remain totally calm when one ponders the future. We worry about whether or not we will be financially able to meet our needs, whether our health will remain strong and our world safe. Knowing and understanding what is and not knowing what might or will be keeps us on edge, is a cause for continual restlessness, is it not?”

   If he could have heard my monologue, I suspect Albert would have looked at me in wonder and amazement. If he could have answered me, I suspect he would have said something like this. “And whose fault is that, Bill? Whenever I did something you thought was wrong and you yelled at me, I bowed my head, asking forgiveness, and you immediately gave it. Why don’t you humans do the same?

   “I lived each day as fully and as faithfully as I could. I did my best. I didn’t worry about tomorrow. I’d wait until then. But I knew tomorrow would be okay if I did my best today. Don’t you know that? Don’t you humans know that? So what’s there to be restless about?

   “Besides, where’s your faith? I always trusted you. Why don’t you humans trust one another? On second thought, now I know why you’re all restless. You don’t trust either the other person or yourself to do what is kind and loving and right. I don’t know if you ever have or ever will. No wonder you’re so restless about the past, the present and the future.”     WJP