THE GREAT THAW

Episcopalians have always been called “The Frozen Chosen,” at least by those on the outside. Several years ago in another community in which I served, I distinctly remember going to a meeting in another church. I met a member of that church who asked me where I served. When I told her, she replied, “Oh, that’s that cold church on the corner.” I, of course, demurred. But I was not about to argue with her either.

   I also did not tell her about a new family who had just become members of our parish. They had come from this woman’s church where, in the words of the wife, “no one spoke a word to us in five years.” “Cold” is relative, I suspect. Both the people at her church and mine thought of ourselves as warm and friendly. To outsiders we seemed cold.

   For some reason – I think it is because most church people are introverts – we do seem like “The Frozen Chosen” to those who come to try us out. They sit in our pew and we watch as they try to figure out which book to open and where to find whatever it is they are supposed to be looking for. But we do not hand them our already-opened book because we’re too shy. At the “Peace” we barely acknowledge their presence if we even do that. And God forbid after the closing hymn we introduce ourselves and invite them to Coffee Hour even if we had no intention of staying ourselves.

   Okay, okay, I am being judgmental. The last time I sat in a pew in a different church I was lucky, sort of. I at least knew the service. Afterwards one of those seemingly few extroverts grabbed my wife and me, wanted to know all about us and invited us to Coffee Hour to which we went and were almost promptly ignored by all those people who seemed to be having a good time with all their friends. Semi-frozen, I guess.

   But Frozen Chosen ? No, not really. But a good thaw is in order. Thaws do not happen all on their own. There is no Global Warning going on among church people to automatically melt the divide that exists between old timers and new comers. That warming has to come from within each person and extend out to those around whether we know those around us or not. Most importantly it has to be intentional. It does not happen on its own and does not take place simply because we wish it were so.

   Added to all that is another problem, although “problem” is probably not the correct word. In a larger congregation such as ours, we simply do not know everyone. Others would like to have such a “problem”. Of course, if we all were in church every Sunday, we would certainly get to know more people. Now that is a problem we do have to work on, do we not? But that’s another issue.

   For now, if we are indeed perceived as frozen, let the thaw begin. If you see someone you do not know, introduce yourself. If someone seems lost, ask if you can help. Don’t simply point the way, take them: to the nursery, to Sunday School, to the restroom, wherever. Hand them your opened-to-the-right-page hymnal or Prayer Book. Invite them to Coffee Hour; introduce them around. Make them feel at home just as you would want to were you in their place. Let the thaw begin!

                                                            WJP