PROPER 15-A, August 14, 2005

Family reunions are wonderful, aren’t they? Aren’t they? Well, the truth is, most of the time they are. Sometimes, as we know, perhaps from personal experience, they are not. All too often these days, family reunions seem to take place only on the occasion of the death of a member of the family. There is a double sadness there both in the reason for the family gathering and because the family only seems to gather any more only for such sad events. So it is so unfortunate that family reunions, family gatherings seem to be to few and too far in between nowadays.

Yet, even when we gather for family funerals, there is joy and happiness all around because we are gathering as a family. It is a time to reflect, reconnect, laugh and cry and tell stories. Thus, one has to wonder why in the world Joseph’s brothers were, in the words of today’s first lesson, dismayed at his presence. They had just discovered that their brother, whom they thought was long dead, was not only alive but was also a very powerful person. Why were they so dismayed, even distressed? This should have been a grand and glorious occasion, a reason to celebrate.

Joseph, of course, knew why they were so distressed. He knew they were afraid he might seek revenge. Perhaps they were even right to have such fears. After all, as we heard in last Sunday’s first lesson and as we know from Sunday School classes, Joseph’s brothers were so jealous of Joseph that they sold him into slavery. They actually thought he was long dead. Now they discover he is alive and well and a man of power. Nevertheless, brother or no brother, they assumed he would now get even with them because of what they had done to him years ago. The truth is, though, that they had a reason to be both dismayed and afraid.

As one standing far off historically, as one looking back into this scene, it is easy to understand why the writer of Genesis says that the brothers were first dismayed, and, even tough he does not say it, distressed and afraid as well. Again, they were afraid of Joseph because he could seek vengeance. But even more, they were dismayed, and rightly so. If Joseph was so powerful, and he was; and if Joseph was so concerned about his father, as he said he was; and if Joseph knew where his family lived, as he did; then why did he not at least make some effort to go back and track down his father, his full-brother, Benjamin, and the rest of the family?

The brothers were rightly dismayed because Joseph had been playing games with them, worrying their father -- and his father -- half to death, when he did not need to do any of that. He could have made himself known immediately, but chose not to. He could have taken time to go back and look for his family, but he would not. Why was he so unconcerned about the fate of his father until now? The brothers had a perfect right to be dismayed. And maybe Joseph somehow understood they had a right to be both afraid of his power and dismayed because of his seeming unconcern. Maybe that was why he shed all those tears. Maybe they were more tears of sorrow and penitence rather than tears of joy.

Maybe. We do not know. It is only speculation. But it happens to us as it happened to Joseph. I suspect we have all played those Joseph games in our lives, stringing others along, making them pay for their misdeeds, forcing them to redress those wrongs they inflicted upon us, seeking revenge. And when we came to our senses and realized we only made the situation worse rather than better, hopefully we shed tears of sorrow over our foolishness. It would have been so much better if we had thought about what we were doing ahead of time when we tried to get even. Revenge is never as sweet as we think it is -- much to our later dismay.

Yet, there are those who will read the story about Joseph and his brothers and simply shake their heads in disbelief. They read the story, the whole story, and wonder how on God’s green earth Joseph could ever, ever, forgive his brothers for what they did to him. Yes, he may have been a spoiled brat. Yes, he may have rammed down their throats the fact that he was their father’s favorite son. Yes, he was totally obnoxious too many times. All that can be forgiven and even forgotten. But to forgive and forget the fact that your own flesh and blood were intent on murdering you and only in the end relented and sold you into slavery because a caravan of traders just happened to come along at precisely the right moment: that could never be forgiven nor forgotten.

So think many, many people. So they read this story of Joseph’s reunion with his full brother, Benjamin (they both shared the same mother and father, and only they), and still are incredulous. For so many the thought of forgiving such a sinful and selfish action is simply unthinkable and untenable. On the other hand, for those who have never had to endure such a tragedy in their lives, such thoughts and such actions are inconceivable. For such people disenfranchising a member of the family or the rest of the family is beyond the realm of understanding.

But it happens, and it happens often, all too often. Perhaps that is why family reunions don’t take place except for weddings and funerals. Too many families these days are split apart because of petty fights and disagreements or even worse. Yet, to dwell too much on the particular details of this story is to miss the whole point. The point is simply that no matter how much we have been wronged, no matter how much we have been sinned against, we must forgive. In fact, like Joseph, we often have to take the first steps in the process of forgiveness and healing, in the process of reconciliation. We cannot wait for the one who hurt us to approach us and ask for forgiveness. Pride being what it is, we often like Joseph, take longer than we should in taking the first step in making reconciliation. But even worse is when we do not do take that step at all.

Would Joseph’s brothers have asked for forgiveness (they eventually did) had they recognized Joseph before he recognized them? We do not know. What we do know is that Joseph, who perhaps had every right to never forgive, forgave willingly and, in fact, eventually took the first step in the healing and reconciling process. The story of Joseph and his brothers is a lesson worth learning.

It is also a lesson worth reflecting upon. Perhaps there are some here today who are separated from loved ones for one reason or another, because of some argument or disagreement about something. Perhaps there are some of us here today who are on the outs with other members of our church family. Perhaps some of us here today won’t speak to a former friend or colleague because of something that has happened in the past. If we are in any one of these categories, perhaps today is the day when we will be the one who will not wait or delay any longer but will take that first step towards reconciliation. For if we are willing to take that first step, we can be sure God will give us whatever grace and strength we need to take whatever remaining steps may be necessary.