Did you hear what Jesus said in today’s Gospel reading? "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple," Hate, that's a very strong word. But that is exactly what Luke says that Jesus says. But is that really what Jesus wants us to do: hate our family, hate life itself? Perhaps. But there is something we can say for certain, no matter what Jesus really wants, he certainly has our attention -- at least for the moment.

But if the pollsters are correct, Jesus is attracting less and less attention these days. So is the church. The Episcopal Church is about to launch a nationwide advertising campaign to attract new members to the church. Of course, with all the fighting we seem to be doing among ourselves, one would have to wonder why anyone would want to join up with such a bunch of seemingly contrary people.

We’re going to spend quite a few millions of dollars on this ad campaign. But we are not alone. The United Methodist Church has already committed $13 million on their campaign. I’ve seen ads for the Lutheran Church and for the Mormons as well. It seems that every church is involved in some sort of campaign to get the attention of those who are on the outside.

But what are these ads selling? What kind of church are they advertising? The ones I’ve seen don’t sound anything like what Jesus is saying in today’s Gospel. All the ads are of the comforting type, selling feel-good religion, making little or no demands of anyone. "Are you looking for a deeper meaning in life? Come to you local Methodist Church." "Would you like to be able to approach your work with more joy and enthusiasm? Come to your local Lutheran Church and learn how." "Does your marriage need a boost? We can give it that boost at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints." I suspect our ads will be no different than those of the Mormons or the Methodists or the Lutherans – all pap and little substance.

Can you imagine an advertising campaign based on today’s Gospel? The ad shows a series of talking heads. The first asks: "Are you happy, content, well situated? Come to Christ Episcopal Church this Sunday and we will relieve you of all that." The second asks: "Hate your mother? Trying to get rid of your father? Jesus wants you for a disciple!" A third person looks intently at us and says: "Be honest: you already have enough stuff. Come, dispose of all your material possessions and give them to the poor. We’re taking up a collection this Sunday at Christ Episcopal Church. See you there." The final talking head asks: "What are you doing this Sunday at 10:30? Would you like to be crucified? If so, the Episcopal Church welcomes you."

Far-fetched? Of course. But you have to admit, that ad would get our attention. I suspect such an ad probably would not get us any new members and would probably cost us some of those we already have, but it would be honest. It would be Gospel-based if nothing else. I also suspect that after this Gospel episode the crowds following Jesus got a whole lot smaller.

Jesus did get their attention. And He has ours. Now that He has our attention, He wants to make a very simple point: if we really want to be His disciple, if we really want to follow Him, if we want to be a Christian, we first had better count the cost. To stress that point, Jesus gives two examples. No one starts to build a tower and then decides halfway through the project he can’t finish the job. No, he calculates what it will take before he even orders the materials to lay the foundation. He would be foolish to do otherwise.

No king starts off to engage another king in battle without first deciding whether or not he has enough troops and enough weapons to at least have a chance to defeat his enemy. If he does not, he won't even try. Instead, he will ask for terms of peace. He would be foolish to do otherwise. Both the tower builder and the war wager will count the cost before -- not during or afterwards. Thus, if we want to be a disciple of His, Jesus says, we had better first count the cost of that commitment. We would be foolish to do otherwise.

The reality, of course, is that in almost anything we do, in any commitment we make, we cannot always, if ever, count the real or total cost ahead of time. It is simply impossible to do. But we must make the effort. At the beginning of the marriage ceremony I read an admonition to the bride and groom. I say to them that "marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God."

No two people who enter into marriage should do so unadvisedly or lightly. It is a weighty thing that they do. They must think about what they are doing. They must know what they are getting into as best they can. It is my responsibility as their priest to make sure that they do. Then they can make those vows that say that "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" they will be there for each other.

Yet, even when two people truly mean those words, when they truly try to count the cost of giving themselves to each other, they cannot possibly foresee what it all means or entails. Arlena, in her many years as a home health nurse, often visited homes where one spouse was bedfast and had been for years. The wife now gives her life to care for her husband. Little did either know or perceive that years before when they exchanged vows that sickness and not health, poverty and not riches, worse and not better might be the mainstays of their last years together. They had no way of counting those costs ahead of time.

When two people decide to have a child, they have to count the cost of having a baby. That cost is not just financial. In fact, the financial cost of having a child may be the least expensive part in the process. Something even more costly is their responsibility for their child's spiritual life. In the baptismal ceremony parents promise that with God's help they will raise the child so that the child knows and understands what it means to be a Christian. And they will do that with their very lives, by the example of their very lives -- like the wife of the bedfast husband. That may never be easy. It certainly will mean, at times, putting their child above their own wants and desires.

William Willimon, who is the chaplain at Duke University, tells the story of an irate father who called him, upset because his graduate-school bound daughter was going to throw it all away and go do missionary work with the Presbyterians in Haiti. "Isn't that absurd," the father yelled over the phone. "A BS degree in mechanical engineering from Duke and she's going to dig ditches in Haiti!"

When Willimon tried to make light of the matter to calm the angry father, the father shot back that he held Willimon personally responsible for his daughter's foolish decision. When Willimon asked why, the father said, "You filled her head with all that religion stuff. She likes you, that's why she's doing this foolishness."

Willimon then reminded the father that it was he and his wife who had her baptized, who had read her Bible stories, who had taken her to Presbyterian Sunday School and Youth Fellowship. "It's your fault," Willimon told the father. "It's your fault that she believed all that stuff and has gone and thrown it all away on Jesus, not mine. You're the one who introduced her to Jesus, not me."

The father meekly responded, "But all we ever wanted her to be was a Presbyterian." To which Willimon replied, "Sorry; you've messed up and made her a disciple."

What it all comes down to is this: When we make the choice of following Jesus, when we choose to become a disciple, we choose to put Him first in our lives -- first above our family, above our own wants and desires, first above everything. And what we are choosing is life -- something that money and riches, power and prestige, even engineering degrees from Duke cannot buy -- and not something that seems like life.

Being a disciple, being a Christian, means more than merely going to church, signing a pledge card, being a nice person, or volunteering to work at the Food Pantry! It is all that and more. Being a Christian is life itself! Discipleship requires cost accounting, choosing life over death, selflessness over selfishness, others over ourselves, Jesus over anyone else. It will not always be easy and will demand much self-sacrifice. The truth of that may not make for a good advertising campaign, but it is the truth nevertheless.

That is essentially what Jesus is saying to us, what couples say to each other, what parents say to children: count the cost. Be deliberate. But know this: we are not left to fulfill the cost alone. Jesus who calls us will be with us every step of the way and all along the way. So will our faith community, our church. And no matter how steep the road, how difficult the climb, we will find life, real life not only at the end of the journey, not only in heaven, but also all along the way. And that's the truth and that would make for a good advertising campaign!