Online Sermons
A Celebration of Life: Eleanore Biderman, January 7, 2009 (by Melody Rockwell)
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We come to celebrate the life of Eleanore Biderman – beloved mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, friend… to those of us gathered here, and in special relationship to many who have gone before. We mourn Eleanore’s death, and we rejoice in her long and meaningful life among us. She has slipped the bonds of illness and limited mobility to be embraced in her new, eternal life of God’s peace and love.
In the gospel of John, Jesus assures us that there are many dwelling places awaiting us. I expect that Eleanore has requested the most humble of accommodations, as long as it has a view of the natural world and open access to God’s creation, which she has in this life appreciated with deep wonder, with every fiber of her being. She would surely lift up her eyes unto the hills, and say, “Let’s go walking in the woods, let’s enjoy the wildflowers and the woodland creatures, and hunt for morel mushrooms.” As she did in this life, she would want to feed the birds and deer – taking delight in their antics and their beauty.
Knowing that Eleanore is gone from this earth is the “end of an era” for her family and friends. A gentle, steady light has been extinguished from our lives. But, our memories of Eleanore and her legacy, particularly to her family, will continually rekindle a lasting light in all our lives.
I have had the privilege of coming to know Eleanore, because eight years ago when I first began making pastoral care calls, one of my first ‘assignments’ was to visit Eleanore. I believe we were linked up due to simple geographical proximity. I live on a farm not many miles from Eleanore’s home. Before I met Eleanore, Joyce Conley, who with her husband Bill, has faithfully befriended and called on Eleanore for many, many years, told me that I would find Eleanore to be a blessing, that I would be receiving a gift in knowing Eleanore. I quickly found that geographic proximity gave way to heart to heart nearness.
Joyce Conley tells of a time years ago when Gary Coffey, our priest at Christ Church at that time asked Joyce, who spends thousands of hours and puts thousands of miles on her car each year engaged in ministry for others, “Joyce, what do you do just for yourself?” Without missing a beat, Joyce replied, “I go to see Eleanore Biderman, that’s what I do for myself.” Joyce often spoke of needing to get her ‘Eleanore fix.’ Joyce was absolutely right.
I was blessed by Eleanore, by having her call me friend. What was it about this quiet, determinedly independent woman that was so engaging? She was interested in and so present during the times we were together. She listened, remembered and truly cared about others. She talked with deep affection about her family, especially her grandsons – telling of their studies, their work, their active lives, their loves, and she worried about, yet was so proud of the ones who were thousands of miles away climbing mountains, while they were likely worrying, yet proud of their spunky grandmother Eleanore insisting on climbing ladders and apple trees, and mowing the lawn into her late 80s.
There was a deep bond of love forged between Eleanore and her grandsons during the summers they spent with her and their grandfather Ben… and a river ran through it. Spending time on the pontoon boat exploring the ‘Pal’ – camping out on the Cedar River – is an idyllic memory for her boys, Eleanore’s grandsons, who grew up into men she took such pride in, who towered over her and gently cared for her.
The family treasures the film of Eleanore teaching her grandchildren how to make kolaches, and they proclaim that she is the best cook they ever knew. When asked what they especially liked Eleanore to cook for them, they immediately name comfort foods: macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, potato salad – ‘mmm so good potato salad,’ fried chicken, apple pie and amazing homemade ice cream… I recall she made an excellent cup of tea and laced her conversations with a mixture of laughter, wondering questions and for those less fortunate around this wounded globe of ours, she voiced tender concern.
Eleanore never wanted to bother anyone or have a fuss made over her. For her family, this must have been exasperating and awe-inspiring all at once… like the time Eleanore fell and broke her hip in her basement. Instead of calling out for help, she stoically crawled up the basement stairs and said to her grandson Chris, “If you’ll just help me into bed, I think I’ll be all right.” Another time when Eleanore fell, she didn’t use her lifeline to summon help. She waited for hours until Chris happened to come to her home.
This independent nature of Eleanore’s translated, however, into patient, uncomplaining courage and an optimistic way of dealing with decline and regret in her last few years of hospitalization and nursing home care. She missed those things she’d loved doing – gardening, cooking and caring for others, yet never failed to express gratitude for those who cared for her, for those who came to see her and most especially for her family. She was a living icon of the Old Testament scripture for today… “It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.”
And now, Eleanore’s shepherd has led her to the green pastures and quiet waters of her new life in Christ. May God wipe away every tear from our eyes as we celebrate the life of Eleanore Biderman. God continues to bless and embrace Eleanore. God blessed us with Eleanore, and for that we give great thanks. Amen.
